Mothering the Mother
If there’s one thing I feel passionately about after a decade of mothering my own three children, it’s that mothers need more support. Mothers need, and deserve, mothering.
The process of becoming a mother, known as matrescence, is a profound transition with many physical, psychological and emotional changes that take place during and after childbirth. Unless we truly acknowledge the significance of this transition, it can be overlooked, and mothers can suffer.
Mothers need to know that self-care is vital and the old adage 'you can’t pour from an empty cup’ is relevant, and sound advice. Infants are developing and entirely dependent on you for everything- from nourishment to emotional regulation. Unless you are receiving the same energy that you are pouring out, it is easy to become unbalanced. This may present as exhaustion, depression, irritability, skin disorders, headaches or brain-fog.
Sometimes mothers are so immersed in motherhood that they postpone seeking help for chronic symptoms but it is vital to prevent a progression of ‘dis-ease’. All women deserve to find and maintain balance and harmony (with loving support) so they can feel optimal in this vital season of life.
3 things you can do today:
It can be hard to reach out for support, but like anything, the more you practise the easier it becomes…
Call someone - a loving family member or trusted friend and ask them to do one thing for you. Maybe they pick up groceries, fold your laundry, massage your feet, cook dinner, or look after your children for a couple of hours. Regardless of what it is, bask in the feeling of support (and remember they will be as happy to give as you are to receive).
Have clear boundaries. Listen to how you feel. If you don’t have the energy to go that event - don’t go. If you desperately need an hour to yourself, tell your partner or someone close to you that that is what you need. It isn’t selfish to take time to yourself, even if all you do is lie down or drink a cup of tea. Rest is essential.
Nourish yourself. While you are busy nourishing a growing child, ensure you are optimally nourishing yourself. Particularly if you are breastfeeding too, you need a nutritional rich diet which supports your dosha to maintain balance and wellbeing. (Check out the DOSHA DIET chart for more ideas).
My hope is that it becomes the norm for women to prioritize their own needs, and to receive themselves the love and care that they so readily give as a mother.